Infertility & Acceptance
Yesterday bought the fourth of our North Essex Endometriosis UK support meetings and a chance to meet up with the ladies I now am lucky enough to consider my friends.
As always we covered some interesting topics but one in particular really made me think about my situation. Infertility and acceptance. As you know many women with Endometriosis suffer with infertility, and for those of us with Adenomyosis we often face the prospect of a hysterectomy at some point in our lives. For many, that is a bitter and hard pill to swallow, regardless of your age. But as one of those women who were diagnosed and given this news at an early age, I have felt like a ticking time bomb ever since.
The question was asked in the group yesterday whether having the diagnosis at an earlier age would have been preferable from a fertility point of view compared to someone who was diagnosed with Endo at a later age...
When I was given the news at the age of 23, I was instantly told that if I wanted a baby, I needed to start looking at it as soon as possible. I always wanted children early through my experience of having younger parents who I have been able to grow up with still doing the "cool" things. But as always, life doesn't tend to go the way we envisage, so for me at 23 I knew I wasn't ready to have a baby. It wasn't just the fact that I was single that made it a no go, I mean that's kind of a big deal!! But I knew that there was still things I wanted to do. And not only that, I wasn't mentally ready to become a parent. From a young age I knew I wanted a successful career, I knew I wanted to see the world and I simply just wanted to enjoy growing up before I made that huge change.
I was told the same thing for 3 years continuously at each of my appointments with my Gynae. "If you want a baby, you REALLY need to start the ball rolling". Until finally last year they stopped saying it, and the discussions about a hysterectomy started. I remember coming out of my appointment thinking why didn't he ask me about a family. Has it finally sunk in that I'm not ready or has my time run out?!
When I think of my surgery coming up at the end of the year and the discussion I will be having with my consultant beforehand about if he believes the Adeno has got much worse, to take it all there and then, I know I have accepted my situation. I am comfortable that at no point over the last 4 years have I missed an opportunity to try for a child. I have no regrets and I can sleep easy at night that I made the right choices. Yes I may never get the pregnancy that I have always longed for but there are other things in life that I have that so many don't and for that I am grateful.
So back to the original question. Is having the diagnosis at an earlier age preferable from a fertility point of view rather than being diagnosed with Endo at a later age? I don't think you can ever truly answer until you are in that situation. I don't know what its like to be told at an older age and equally those diagnosed older don't know what its like to be told at a younger age. But what I do know is that we are all in different situations and we all have very different opinions. Don't compare yourself to others. We are all our own individuals.
A x
As always we covered some interesting topics but one in particular really made me think about my situation. Infertility and acceptance. As you know many women with Endometriosis suffer with infertility, and for those of us with Adenomyosis we often face the prospect of a hysterectomy at some point in our lives. For many, that is a bitter and hard pill to swallow, regardless of your age. But as one of those women who were diagnosed and given this news at an early age, I have felt like a ticking time bomb ever since.
The question was asked in the group yesterday whether having the diagnosis at an earlier age would have been preferable from a fertility point of view compared to someone who was diagnosed with Endo at a later age...
When I was given the news at the age of 23, I was instantly told that if I wanted a baby, I needed to start looking at it as soon as possible. I always wanted children early through my experience of having younger parents who I have been able to grow up with still doing the "cool" things. But as always, life doesn't tend to go the way we envisage, so for me at 23 I knew I wasn't ready to have a baby. It wasn't just the fact that I was single that made it a no go, I mean that's kind of a big deal!! But I knew that there was still things I wanted to do. And not only that, I wasn't mentally ready to become a parent. From a young age I knew I wanted a successful career, I knew I wanted to see the world and I simply just wanted to enjoy growing up before I made that huge change.
I was told the same thing for 3 years continuously at each of my appointments with my Gynae. "If you want a baby, you REALLY need to start the ball rolling". Until finally last year they stopped saying it, and the discussions about a hysterectomy started. I remember coming out of my appointment thinking why didn't he ask me about a family. Has it finally sunk in that I'm not ready or has my time run out?!
When I think of my surgery coming up at the end of the year and the discussion I will be having with my consultant beforehand about if he believes the Adeno has got much worse, to take it all there and then, I know I have accepted my situation. I am comfortable that at no point over the last 4 years have I missed an opportunity to try for a child. I have no regrets and I can sleep easy at night that I made the right choices. Yes I may never get the pregnancy that I have always longed for but there are other things in life that I have that so many don't and for that I am grateful.
So back to the original question. Is having the diagnosis at an earlier age preferable from a fertility point of view rather than being diagnosed with Endo at a later age? I don't think you can ever truly answer until you are in that situation. I don't know what its like to be told at an older age and equally those diagnosed older don't know what its like to be told at a younger age. But what I do know is that we are all in different situations and we all have very different opinions. Don't compare yourself to others. We are all our own individuals.
A x
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