Never ending pain

I've had some lovely messages of support since my last blog on Tuesday from friends and family. I really do appreciate all your words and although I am struggling, it does help.

Unfortunately, I had to leave work at lunchtime today due to my pain. I had taken painkillers and had a hot water bottle, but whilst I was talking to a colleague at my desk, all of a sudden it felt like my heart was doing somersaults, I felt faint and I was feeling nauseous. I have no idea what it was but my heart was pounding in my chest and I was struggling not to be sick. It was horrid.

I hate what this disease is doing to me. Not only that but I'm embarrassed. I don't want people to see me when I'm struggling, especially at work. Some might say I'm too proud, or simply just too stubborn but thats just how I am. I've had the chance of having a natural family taken away from me, so I find it extremely frustrated that its now effecting the one thing I've thrown myself into. My work.

I know people tell me not to worry, and I know that I've got the support of so many, but most of the battle is with myself. I like to think I cope well with my situation but some days it definitely feels like I'm not coping. And whilst this pain isn't easing up, its making it harder and harder to deal with...

A x

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